PAMELA BARKER,MA,EQCC,ACC
Educational Psychologist – Personal Growth & Relationship Coach

"There's no story, if there's no conflict." Wes Anderson.                                                                                             And, there is no conflict without relationship. So, as logic has it, we better be able to navigate conflict in a constructive manner if we are to enjoy healthy and harmonious relationships both at work and in our personal lives.

 

The skills required to successful navigate conflict in life and work include:

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• ​ability to recognize, understand, and manage emotions (yours and others and especially the strong ones!) that are at play in conflict

• understanding of your conflict style and the typical role you take when in conflict

• perspective taking - the bird's eye view

• optimism

• growth mindset 

• problem solving skills

• self regulation

• ability to set and hold healthy boundaries

• awareness of personal and organizational values​

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Conflict costs time, money, energy and opportunity (see stats below), all of which could be better used to advance healthy relationships, connection, collaboration, and joy at home and at work. The skills that help you transform personal and group conflict are the same skills that ensure that you are more successful, happier and enjoy the fruits of mutually beneficial relationships and can work toward commonly held purpose with clarity.  

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Conflict statistics: (Retrieved from https://pollackpeacebuilding.com/workplace-conflict-statistics/ 12/8/2024)​

1. 85% of employees experience some kind of conflict (The Myers-Briggs Company, 2008).

2. Frequent Conflict Experience: 29% of employees nearly constantly experience conflict (The Myers-Briggs Company, 2008).

3. Financial Costs in the U.S.: Employees in United States companies spend approximately 2.1 hours each week involved in conflict. This amounts to around $359 billion in hours paid that are filled with – and focused on – conflict instead of on positive productivity. The figure is the equivalent of 385 million days on the job going toward the goal of arguing, as opposed to being put toward collaboration. A full day of productivity each month. This is 2-1/2 weeks of productivity each year (CPP Inc., 2008).

4. Financial Costs in the UK: The overall total annual cost of conflict to employers (including management and resolution) is at £28.5 billion. This represents an average of just over £1,000 for every employee in the UK each year, and just under £3,000 annually for each individual involved in conflict (Acas, 2021).

5. Time Spent on Conflict Management: In some organizations, one in ten respondents report spending six hours or more per week dealing with conflict. Additionally, 51% of HR workers spend between one and five hours weekly managing disagreements (CPP Inc., 2008).